Thursday, 21 August 2014

Weight, oh wonderful weight....

 Hi Pretty people...

   I have to laugh at this 'thigh gap' phenomena that's about these days. Or rather in my case, cry. See, not only do I not have a thigh gap,(deep breath here as I reveal something humiliating) I don't have a gap above my knees in fact. Yes thats right. When I stand up straight my thighs are so big I have no space from my knees up. To be honest, not having a thigh gap doesn't phase me, I think it's complete bollox and such an unhealthy aim to strive for. What does bother me, is I feel my weight is out of control. 


   I suppose I should give you a bit of background of how I went from never having a problem with my weight (at times I was told by doctors I was seriously under weight), to having spent roughly the las ten years on a constant battle with my weight.

  Growing up in our house we rarely had sweets, fizzy drinks or take aways, and when we did they were a 'treat' a 'special occasion'. In hindsight I can see that this was a bad idea, associating fattening food with a positive, but I was only a kid, plus my parents loved walks and we had to go on them, so we didn't put on weight. So fast forward to sixteen when I began working in a pizza place, where we got free fast food on our break, and having my own money to buy what ever type of food I liked, and I was hooked. I love food that's bad for me. I still see it as a treat and a reward, I still want chocolate every day. Like really want it. Like of there is something sweet in the house I'll be thinking of it constantly. It's a horrible habit, but one I'm determined to break now.


  For anyone who experiences anxiety, or in fact any mental issue tiredness is a permanent fact of life, it's because your body is dealing with so much other process going on due to the heightened state you're in. If anyone doesn't believe this, feel free to google it, its true. Add this to lack of energy, which leads to lack of exercising and the weight crept on. I actually enjoy exercise once you get past that initial first few days, but I usually wind up getting sick (terrible immune system) or letting one day pass, then another, then another... ya know how it goes..

  A big thing that upsets me when it comes to loosing weight, the only thing I feel like I'm loosing is my battle with weight. I'm able to loose that little bit, then it comes back on, and this loop has gone on for as long as I can remember, its so disheartening. 

In fact this whole issue is heartbreaking for me.

  I've never had those days where I could go out in a mini skirt or a body con dress, and now I'm in my 20's and I'm facing my final college year as nine stone, the heaviest I have ever been. Nine stone might sound very little to some people but with my height it's a problem. 

My stats are, today the 21 August:

Weight: Approx 9 stone
Waist: 27.5 inchs
Hips :36.5 inchs
Thighs: 20 inches
Height 4'11 (This is not likely to change sadly!)

  So as you can see I am really small and the weight is much more visible on smaller people. So today I am trying to start a new. Thursday might be a weird day to start but I'm starting now. I was watching a video on YouTube about weight loss, the girl had a quote 'Do it or it won't get done'. It makes perfect sense and no matter how many posts I write about weight loss, unless I do something about it, nothing will change. 


    I don't think it's rocket science; less crappy food + more exercise = less weight, healthier person. I do feel that it's most realistic for me to tackle each issue separately. I know that in the next week the chances of me going to the gym is slim to none, because I still feel shitty after having that stupid cold. There are things I can do to help my weight between now and the time I write an update post on this, and that is try and get my eating under control. I really feel if I could do that, it would be a huge improvement. I like vegetables, but I'm terrible for eating fruit, so I'm hoping to change my attitude towards this. I know by my IBS I'm not getting fibre in my diet so I have to try work on that. Basically I need to not eat pastries, cake, or chocolate. If I could go a week without eating this type of  surgery food, I honestly feel it will be the first step on my journey. Obviously if I am up to it I won't be avoiding exercise either! 


   I am hoping to loose about a pound by next Thursday, but if I could genuinely have no sugary foods what so ever between now and then I'd be thrilled!  I'm hoping by writing about it, I will feel more obliged to succeed as more people are watching.  Possibly seeing the changes in front of me in black and white will be what I need to not just start but keeping going this time, and make a real difference.


  Thanks so much for reading, and please, PLEASE if anyone else is starting, during or finished their own weight loss journey let me know. I really think having other people doing it with you is a big help. Also if anyone has any type of exercise they find a bit more interesting than the normal gym routine let me know in the comments. To be honest I don't think I'll be up to sweating it out in the gym after college every day so I'd love to try something fun that wouldn't be a chore. Any recipes that    people have for quick dinners or meals I could take to college in some tupper ware would also be greatly appreciated:)

     Lots of love and look after yourselves and each other. xxx

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